words matter

I’ve only had a handful of nightmares in my 23 years so far. I’m not a wild dreamer in the literal meaning – in fact, I rarely dream at night. If I do have a dream, it’s usually ridiculous.

Example: I had several strange dreams before my wedding. They were all the same. I went to pick up my wedding dress, but the seamstress dyed it red and turned it into a pantsuit.


Of the bad dreams I’ve had, there’s one I remember vividly.  I was back in high school with old friends – people who had a huge impact on my life while I was growing up – and we were hiking through the woods behind the football field of my old high school. Laughing, talking, reminiscing.

After a while, I realized we were hiking a mountain. I didn’t notice how high we were until we finally came to a clearing. When we reached the top, the wind was blowing so hard none of us could stand. We could only crawl. My hands were slippery.

I then realized the surface of the mountain was white and smooth. The mountain was also hollow: there was a huge hole in the center that was a dark drop thousands of feet down. My hands still kept slipping.

I soon realized the mountain was a tooth.

If I stood up, I would either slide down the cavity to my imminent death, or fall off the side of the mountain. I watched my friends fall away one by one.

Out of nowhere, a helicopter came and the faceless pilot threw a rope ladder down to me. My only way to survive was to jump off the side of the mountain and grab the ropes.

I pulled up as fast as I could and threw myself off the mountain with my arms reaching above my head, searching for the ropes, trying to beat the wind.

I woke up before I knew if I made it or not. I was panicking. Sweating, crying, shaking. I was flooded with emotions: fear, anguish, dread, even adrenaline. It took several hours for my heart rate to come down.

(Fun fact: I despise teeth-related things.)

Why would I share this creepy dream with you? Because I think it has tremendous meaning. I am certainly not one to live by dream interpretation. But I do think there’s validity in what our nightmares can teach us.

I once heard that the presence of teeth in dreams was a symbol for words. Have you ever dreamed about your teeth falling out? Perhaps they can be symbolic of the words you say, meant to say, or wish you hadn’t said.

In my case, I dreamed about teeth as a mountain. An obstacle.

Words can be obstacles.

I don’t know about you, but I often struggle with finding the right words to say–especially in a lose-lose situation. (Either fall inside the cavity or fall off the mountain). In my dream, the only way to live was a tremendous leap of faith toward the ladder.

Why did I have an anxiety dream about words?

Because words matter to me.

Words can make my spirit soar and cut me to the bone.


The awesome gentleman who styles my hair told me once that I have a Downton Abbey face. He said I have timeless beauty. That will forever go down as one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me — and I don’t think he was intending to make my day, but he definitely did.

When I was in high school, I was at a store with a guy I liked for a long time. We were exchanging a shirt he purchased earlier. The cashier gave him his change back — some bills and small change. He said, “The change is for your girl — but she’s worth more than that.”

The guy I liked replied, “Nah, she’s not worth much more.” The cashier smiled at me apologetically.

(I knew how to pick them in 11th grade, didn’t I?)

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a margin of error for word interpretation. I don’t consider myself a highly sensitive person. I don’t go around looking for ways to be offended by “hey, can you pass the ketchup.”

But I do fear that in this age of social media, our words become more and more empty. It’s so easy to berate and bully others behind the screen of a smart phone.

How are you using your words?

Do you find yourself defending things you say?

This was posted on one of my favorite websites – Humans of New York – and I think this gentleman sums up my thoughts perfectly:

“I’m learning to be more careful with my words. Words that seem meaningless at the time can end up having a lot of power. Seeds that you didn’t even intend to plant can fall off you and start growing in people.”


Well, here it is a week after Fat Tuesday. Not one blog post.

That doesn’t mean I’m not writing. I have at least two very intense drafts, but I find myself being more guarded with my words here. I’m taking my time. I want to say things right.

I suppose that’s the juxtaposition of social media: say whatever you think whenever you want.

I put a lot of thought into all my posts – including social media – and I want to encourage everyone to do the same. More on that later.

I want to know something: tell me your top six favorite animated Disney movies. (But MC, isn’t it usually a “top five” kind of thing? Yes, but my blog, my rules. I have six.)

Here’s mine in no particular order:

The Princess and the Frog
Beauty and the Beast
The Lion King

author out.

forty days of rest

My, my, my. I haven’t written an original blog post since October.
That was last year.
I apologize.
I plan to return with several Sunday Book Club posts. I’ve done a lot of reading.
Here’s what else I’ve been up to, in quasi-chronological order:

-I had my wisdom teeth removed — all five of them — and provided my dear husband and a few lucky friends with some post-anesthesia entertainment.
-I got to have lunch with Hope and Rose Stanphill and their father Steve. They have family in the Atlanta area. How amazing is that?
-I turned 23.
-I spent Thanksgiving with my family in Tennessee and had a wonderful week with them.

-I started a new job – my first real job – at the North American Mission Board. My job title is Production Specialist, and I support video and visual design production. It’s been wonderful so far.
-I saw my first Atlanta concert in the Phillips Arena — Justin Timberlake. Let me tell you, Christopher and I had a blast.
-topher and I threw a big Christmas party at our apartment and discovered that it can fit 17 people semi-comfortably.
-I spent Christmas with the Mizes in Georgia – my first Christmas not in Tennessee. We had a family-wide nerf gun fight, so I’d say it was pretty great. (Seriously, though. Chris and I hit the in-law lottery jackpot.)

-My sister Jayme spent a few days with me early in 2014. It was so great to have quality time with my sister in  the eastern time zone.
-I applied for/received my passport, because Christopher and I will be traveling to New Zealand for most of November 2014.
-Season 3 of Sherlock finally premiered in America, and I became a woman obsessed (again). If you haven’t watched Sherlock, you should.
-Chris and I adopted a Boston Terrier-French Bulldog named Dr. Watson from a rescue organization, and he has us completely wrapped around his paws.
-I spent about five hours on the road (to travel about 30 miles) in the Atlanta Snowpocolypse of 2014 (the first one). I was lucky enough to actually make it home — I had coworkers who had to abandon their cars on the road and seek shelter overnight.

-I became an aunt! My sister-in-law had the most beautiful baby in the world on February 5th. Her name is Scarlett and she’s perfect.
-I finally spent Valentine’s Day with Christopher – first time in almost four years of dating. He cooked dinner and had three bouquets of flowers waiting for me when I got home from work. I made him a cookie cake. We watched House of Cards season one and the first two episodes of season two (holy smokes, by the way.) It was a wonderful weekend.

So here we are at March. March 2014 means that I’m two months shy of being married for a year. Time really does fly fast when you’re having fun. This first year of marriage has been the best year of my life.

March also means spring. I still consider fall my favorite season, but spring is inching up the list. I like the transitional seasons. Not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

And on this Fat Tuesday, the fourth of March, I’ve decided to take a break from Facebook for the Lent season. I’m not Catholic or Lutheran, but I do enjoy participating in Lent. Last year I gave up Chic-fil-A.  That was a tremendous exercise in self-control.

This year, I want to be more intentional in my fasting. I’m not just giving up Facebook – I’m going to replace the time I spend on Facebook with time writing on this blog. This will be therapeutic and productive — just ask my husband. He has to tell me to stop looking at social media sometimes, because he can physically see the frustration and anger building in my face as I read various posts.

I will very much have a presence online, and I plan to spend these 40 days writing things that are important to me–things that have been on my heart and in my head for a long time.

I’ll write about life, love, friendships, religion, politics, marriage, books, food, and everything in between.

I hope you will follow me on this journey, and that my words will give you inspiration, laughter, and perhaps a refreshing viewpoint.

And since I plan to publish this link to my Facebook page, I’ve bought an accountability insurance policy. I’m not going to say I will post every single day, but I will try.

If you’re giving up something for the Lent season, I wish you the best of luck.

Facebook, I’ll see you in 40 days.

Everyone here…see y’all tomorrow.